Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
