Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
