my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize