I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
