she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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