party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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