Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
