remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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