Ambien. No doubt about it.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
