My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
