Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
