According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
