your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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