My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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