I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
