Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
