I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
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