You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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