We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
