yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
