i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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