Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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