This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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