He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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