I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
