All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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