We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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