Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Four minutes until I can fart!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
