also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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