oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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