My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
whose parrot is this?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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