the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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