The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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