I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
not ubering you a puppy
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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