Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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