I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I skipped work to stalk him.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
