is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
