Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
