My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
farters have to be the big spoon...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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