hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
