so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
