The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
