So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
