I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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