HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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