Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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