he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
