Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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