So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize