I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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