The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
