I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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