I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
