Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
