i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so let's talk penis.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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