if we break up, who will get the dealer?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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