what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
