Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
