I got chris browned last night
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
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We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
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Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
And then my night got REAL pukey
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
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