I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
