I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
