yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
