The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
