I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
